2 tickets

i bought 2 tickets to see them

i have memorized every song

not with that intention but by sheer exposure

i was looking forward to the day

distantly

knowing it was in august and we were still in early june

but i see a post, “who’s at this concert tonight?”

and the blood goes cold

i missed it

i rush to check the instagrams, they confirm.

i rush to my email

i find the receipt,

two unused tickets

at first im ok, tonight was good, it’s ok

then im disappointed but mostly

im not the main character tonight

my tragedy isn’t the one onstage

so i listen as texts are read and shouts ring out

&

i listen as my friend tells and shows me that she is not ok

&

that what i hoped was progress isn’t, really

and my empathy is weaker,

if i’m honest

swallowed up in two unused concert tickets