my body

to live in my body

somethings would be different from yours

but greatest of all

i believe

would be my hunger.

it is incessant

it does not feel fulfilled

it is pain,

it is consuming

and it is always

not always do i think about it but i can

it is so big

and then you will understand my joy of sitting at a dinner table

you will understand why i eat so fast,

yet always finish last

you will understand

that i get out of bed

to feed my body

that i swear i’m not starving

the hunger though

doesn’t drive me to eat always

maybe it should,

but that’s my long running class

of learning that my body signals actions for me to take

i don’t always eat when i am so hungry

i feel i unsatisfied by snacks

so i rarely eat them

i love a Meal

a big one with a huge main, likely made of meat

a carb, a bread or rice

many many vegetables

and a salad

then fruits

and so much water

you will understand the joy i feel imagining it all.

you will understand why i can’t stop nodding as i eat

as if to affirm to the food the vital role it plays for me

to let it know it is loved

[and oh, is it loved]

(maybe i should’ve eaten that burrito earlier instead of waiting)

my body is consistent

the timing so predictable

i need to eat at 8

i need to eat at 11

i need to eat at 4

eat does not mean

one thing

it means a Meal.

it means a main, likely made of meat

a carb, rice or bread

vegetables so many vegetables

and fruit

so much water too

anything less and my body screeches to me

and when i listen, the hunger is less loud.

never gone though

that’s one thing, i think

you would learn,

living in my body.