okay

when you have so many good days

it can be good

to have a bad one

so today

i had to deal w a car being booted

and i felt only shame

disgusting encompassing shame

my rent payment didn’t go through

showing my lack of control

i made some bad decisions,

inviting too many people to a small space

i had to do my best to focus on details and get it right and

that drained me

and i didn’t get it right

but God,

i am still your daughter

and i

i am

trying.

this humility sits in my throat, difficult to swallow

i am not all the things i pretend.

i am a girl who forgets

who makes bad decisions

but

who

is okay