a letter to an anonymous recipient

dear [unknown],

i’m the one who got your paper, the one where you wrote down things you’d like someone to pray for.

on your paper you wrote you need help catching up with school work and help with dating.

some nights i held your paper in my fist as i prayed. stopping to open it and read it word for word.

most nights i didn’t though

most nights i prayed that you’d feel God's love

that you’d find ways to love yourself in big ways

that you’ll be able to prioritize the things that matter to you

and most nights as i thought about you and your dating journey i thought of my own

and my prayers for you mingled with my hopes for myself

sometimes i prayed that the object of your affection would appreciate whatever actions

you’re taking

i prayed that we’d both be able to experience what we need to to become the best version of ourselves for our future partner and family

and sometimes that our future partners are experiencing what they need to in order to be what they need to be for us and our future families.

sometimes when i prayed i would feel shame for my pride and plead for humility, and sometimes i’d include you.

that we’d both become the humble true selves we are at the bottoms of us

your paper is still by my bed.

i don’t look at it for the words now, i know them by heart

in them i see fear, a desire to achieve and be loved, i see doubts you have about who you are.

i see bravery, i see effort kindness and a heart that’s ready to love.

i think of you throughout my day.

here and there,

of your striving and how you know there is more out there for you.

i love you sweet girl

thank you for sitting with me as i pray, thank you for being true and being there where we wrote those papers.

honey,

if i thought of you this much, imagine your God knowing so well the beauty in you, knowing so well your potential. seeing deep through you and loving you more than you can understand

he sits with you as you worry, as you doubt as you fear.

it’s been a privilege to love you for this time.

i don’t know how i could give you this letter, but if there was i way i would

and with it would come a hug and a desperate desire to know you and to listen to your story.

keep going sweet girl, you are enough as you are.

best,

your prayer sister