beacon to humility

walking into sleep tonight

not knowing what tomorrow means

for the tomorrows that follow it

i might be fired, for

(the cynical me would say)

just the simple matter of my values, my character

(the honest me would say)

it might not be the right fit, for me or the company

and it might be

in this moment i see it being my last day

getting dressed in the clothes that cost so much money

taking the bus pattern i’ve learned

switching into the shoes

walking in

and leaving before it hits lunch

i see a quick and painless (for them) goodbye from leadership

a hug from abigale

promises to help me find another job

(which i hope and pray come true)

and walking out before they take team pictures

no one wants a sad story scratching up their photo

i don’t think people know it’s happening,

they must think it’s a monday as usual

i hope they are surprised.

i hope next friday when christine the masseuse comes in she asks about me

the girl she got hooked

i hope she asks,

where is she.

i hope as i wait for the bus that will take me home i walk along the river

looking up to the windows where i will no longer be a welcome resident

i pray

that they may know

that the right thing will be done.

what would lee say,

i think he likes me,

but he knows to trust the people who’ve built that place.

what if they keep me?

i can’t imagine it

but i’d do the work

maybe i’d cry

who knows

if i get fired i should go home apply for jobs and go to the lagoon

a rollercoaster to center my spirits

last week, i filled out my lunches for the next week

hopeful.

i’m getting ready for tomorrow resigned to what the future holds

i will not try and wrap my hands around the liquid of the future

i will let it rain on me,

feel every drop

dear future,

hi it’s me, anna. i wish you good luck tomorrow! i know it’s a big day. i know you have secrets i’ll never know, and that’s why i love you. keep your secrets and i’ll stay eagerly waiting at the door to meet you.

sincerely yours,

anna

how do i take on the future without making the story a villain one.

humility, hi, i hope we meet soon.