cute happy video

the feeling i don’t understand

it sits on my chest

it sits like a lump in my throat i need to throw up

do i need to throw up?

why do big

so heavy

so

bad

this feeling isn’t good

my first thought

is it insecurity?

but no i’m not comparing i think

is it then jealousy?

and yes i do want it in someways

but no

it’s not angry or comparison

it’s sad

really sad

why is it sad

you have no right to feel so so sad watching her cute happy video

it hurts tho

it hurts

that’s the feeling.

and i want to rewatch it over and over

but i know i can’t handle the feeling,

i might throw up

and honestly

i could comment and say this is so cute it makes me sick

and i wouldn’t be exaggerating