dear julia,

you’ve been doing so much recently

and so much of it alone

i mean not all the way alone, but not all the way together either

you’ve been being an amazing employee

from doing a good job on your work to just being a cool person

they love you

you’ve been doing so many dishes

planning ahead,

doing it even when there are a million other things you could do

(i can see future me being tired and thinking, julia wouldn’t leave dishes in the sink & feeling better because i did them)

you’ve been a good student

there never missing a class

studying

and even when it’s hard no

whiny complaints

like maybe every once in a while

a frustration

but she

and victim

are antonyms

and another weight is her family

she is there for owen, in a fun way but that still requires effort

she is there for dylan and missing, both him and brazil/missions

her mom,

who also takes weight

julia is the lifter for,

the no problems

the i am ok child

her grandma,

knowing she’s alone there

the love and effort she sends

is beautiful

and then beyond that

she has a calling,

she doesn’t enjoy

and yet works so diligently at it never giving up and letting things flop

with her eyes she can see

and even when others can’t

and say things she knows are flawed she’ll listen

and if need be

let the idea fly, with her improvements

julia is a wonder to behold

but this that i’ve written isn’t what i want to give her

because this is too dramatic for the simple day to day living that she sees

i think she knows it’s heavy

but she knows equally that she is strong enough

and she

is a wonder

what i want to give her today on the day of november 8th

is peace

is rest

is the chance to laugh like a child

to be wild in the rain

to work hard and be rewarded.

to be loved by the people she loves

a football game and dancing with the stars

a favorite treat

zuchinni muffins

oh my

i want her to feel that she is not only putting out effort

but that

effort

can be returned to her

what i’m doing

now

is not effort

it doesn’t count

going to the store that would’ve been effort

vacuuming her car

making sure she doesn’t have to do dishes

keeping everything clean

giving her a massage

lifting some things so she just doesn’t have to

that would be effort.

she deserves all that

and then

so

much

more