i'm not home

and i listen to the songs i put together that felt true when she left

and first i hear

“just like her i’m not home”

that used to mean

something else but now i see

that

home is a person

it used to mean us

but i’m not home for you.

you are not home for me.

time & distance

and probably something else

have vacuumed sealed our lives &

separated from them from each other

then i hear

“maybe it’s the getting by”

and remember

that love

is not always love

sometimes it’s getting through something

together

or

apart.

then one line i once loved

because of you

“despite pretention you are infinitely interesting to me”

hurts because it doesn’t ring true the same way

because we had more time

and nothing interesting to fill it with